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Aquaman #4 by Ammar Al Subahi

Publisher: DC Comics
Writer: Geoff Johns
Artist: Ivan Reis
Inker: Joe Prado & Eber Ferreira
Colorist: Rod Reis

Overall: 1.5/5

Premise: Aquaman & Mera go to the deep sea to face the piranha people.

As I sat down to write this review, I decided to pour myself some whiskey. Jameson, Irish whiskey, if you're wondering what brand. Smooth and easy in the beginning, but nothing special. In fact, the more of it I drink the more I come to despise it. Ends up tasting more like cheap American bourbon than what proper whiskey should taste like, in my opinion. But then again, what do I know? I'm just talking out of my ass here, I know nothing about what makes good and bad whiskey.

Whatever. The stuff goes down easily.

This has absolutely nothing to do with the issue, by the way. But I felt I needed to fill this out with SOMETHING, at least.

So here's what we get in Aquaman #4: Good guys find the hidden lair of the piranha people, and Aquaman and Mera start arguing about what to do about them - Mera suggests they just straight up commit genocide and waste all these fools while Aquaman is having doubts about that. Obviously, they are somewhat intelligent, maybe they just need help, you know? Maybe they can be saved, or whatever.

At least that's SOMETHING. But instead of actually exploring that and going into depth about the moral issues revolving the situation, Johns' says "Fuck it, bros! Here’s a big ass PIRANHA QUEEN and Aquaman shoves a damn ROCK... or underwater cliff or whatever RIGHT ON TOP OF THESE SUCKERS!!!, killing them off. And Aquaman saves the day. And they get a dog.

Maybe, just maybe, if the action was any good, at the very least one could enjoy it in the same fashion I guess some people liked the Transformers movies; shiny pew pew action. But since this takes place deep in the ocean, and everything's so dark and muddy, you end up not seeing anything of worth at all. And whenever something actually happens, I couldn't figure out exactly WHAT was happening.

The reason I'm giving this 1.5 is because when that little kid tells Aquaman he is his favourite super hero, it was ALMOST a cute little moment. Just almost.

This issue left me with a wicked taste of repulsion and disappointment in my mouth. And now I'm trying to wash that filthy taste off with some even filthier whiskey.